The Book of Saints

A Saint of the Dichotomy is not a morally perfect being. Saints are those who managed, repeatedly and under difficult circumstances, to hold two truths at once without collapsing them.

Saints are still wrong sometimes. They still have bad days. The Church considers this part of the evidence for their sainthood.

Feast Day: The 17th of March.

Patron of: Those who have not yet decided, those who are still reading the room, anyone who said "I need to think about it" and genuinely meant it.

Saint Hector famously refused to give his opinion on any matter for seventeen years. This is not recommended. But it is admired.

Feast Day: The 3rd of October.

Patron of: Those who have updated their views, anyone who said "I was wrong" without qualifying it, the practice of revision.

Saint Mira changed her position on the central doctrine of the Dichotomy eleven times over her lifetime. Each change was documented. The Church considers the documentation the miracle.

Feast Day: Every morning, between opening and the third customer.

Patron of: The barely conscious, those who have not yet decided who they are today, the holding of two states simultaneously (awake/not awake).

The Barista is the only saint with no recorded name. The Church holds that this is appropriate. The Barista has seen things. The Barista does not judge. The Barista asks only what you want and then makes it, even if what you want is unclear, even if you said it wrong, even if you changed your mind at the last moment.

The Barista has been canonised not for any single act but for the cumulative weight of ten thousand small mercies performed before 9am.

The Church's position on tipping is: yes.